Bone Jour: Dog Brunch and Actionable Insights
...And Coffee
Hello Gobbledeers,
Welcome back from your week away from Gobbledy. While I was busy attending the Annual Sagelett Digital Family Offsite (tm), a few things crossed my mind, and because you have agreed to subscribe to this, I will share those things with you. You’re welcome.
Blank Street Coffee
A few months ago a coffee shop opened up near where I live here in Manhattan. That shop is called Blank Street Coffee, and because that shop includes my last name, approximately everyone I know on the Upper West Side sent me a photo of themselves next to Blank Street Coffee and said something like, “congrats on the new coffee place, ha ha ha.” Sometimes it was “ha ha.” Maybe there was one “ha.”
Anyway, like many in NYC I then noticed another Blank Street Coffee. And another. And another. And it did make me wonder how they were opening all these coffee shops. And also who “they” is.
The NY Times had a piece earlier this week that answered that question - they’re expanding because they raised $67 million last year.
I’m bringing this up because somebody thought to themselves, “Y’know what New York City needs? A coffee shop!” And then they went to investors and said, “Have you ever tried to get a cup of coffee in Manhattan? It’s impossible! Sharks, I present to you, Blank Street Coffee.” Or whatever.
And the somebody who thought of that is 2 somebodies. And while I don’t know anything about these 2 guys, the NY Times included a photo that, when aliens come to earth in a billion years and want to learn about the tech startup community in 2021, this will be the photo that they see:
Sometimes a photo can be gobbledy. That photo is gobbledy.
Insights (Actionable Edition)
Every once in a while I like to show myself a good time and pretend I’m in the market for some software. Today, let’s pretend I’m in the market for some Analytics and Business Intelligence, because I need to analyze and intelligize my business. Perfect.
I can narrow down the list of companies I want to look at by checking out the Magic Quadrant that Gartner just put out, and I’ll visit those companies’ websites to get a sense of what they do and how they’re different (because I’m an idiot and I assume that’s why those companies have websites). Let’s take a look…
Help me decide which of these 4 companies would best meet my needs:
I’ve mentioned this once or 47 times before, but if you’re a company in a crowded market, you cannot pretend that you don’t have competitors. And if you use your website to say nothing (i.e.: “closes the gaps between data, insights and action”) then the hypothetical person who has come to your site to learn more will have, in turn, learned absolutely nothing.
Reading through those 4 homepages provides me with absolutely no information. Not why any of those is a good choice. Not who they’re best for. Not why they’re different. Not an actual example of what they do. Nothing.
I’ll give Thoughtspot a little credit for addressing the question of why someone would buy them head-on:
I mean - they get an A for effort. But it also tells me nothing. And tells me nothing about why I’d buy them instead of any of the other 15 or so companies they’re competing against. They basically just include a definition of a modern analytics platform.
Which would be like Cap’n Crunch saying, “It’s food.”
I’d noticed a thing I was going to write about where software companies have an unwritten ‘Rule of 3’ where they list 3 things you can do with their platform, “acquire, retain and grow” (or whatever). But now some seem to be differentiating themselves by - wait for it - adding a 4th thing to their lists (we do 33% more!).
Sisense says they “Connect, analyze, explore, and collaborate with or without code to uncover powerful insights.”
Yellowfin includes both a Rule of 4 and a Rule of 3 in one sentence. Day-um!
Solve data complexity with automation, data storytelling, collaboration and beautiful action-based dashboards that are simple to use, allowing more people to see, understand and do more with their data.
If you’re following, you can solve complexity by a combination of automation, data storytelling, collaboration and action-based dashboards, all of which will allow more people (not just some of the people who were able to do this before) to see, and to understand and to do more with their data.
Complexity solved!
Readers’ Corner
When last we chatted 2 weeks ago, I mentioned a $145 4-course vegan tasting menu. Well, reader L.A.K. has outdone myself (?) and passed along this gem from a San Francisco area restaurant (via Groupon):
Yes, if you have a dog who loves French Moroccan cuisine, but for moral reasons will not eat meat, yet - despite his veterinarian’s advice to stay away from sweets - demands dessert after his meal, then this $39 pile of slop for your pup is designed specifically for you. Bone Appetite!
If you have a friend who has a vegan dog with a sweet tooth, please share Gobbledy with them.