When brand extensions lead to dog poop in an airplane

And who's behind all the AI stories?

Hello Gobbledeers,

How’s it going?

I wanted to share 2 things:

The Gobbledy offices will be closed for July 4th, so there’ll be no newsletter next week.

Both my daughters graduated high school in the past week (well, one last week and one today), which has (in a good way!) made it a little more challenging to write the newsletter this week. So today is a little shorter than typical. The other way to think about it is that most issues of Gobbledy are too long, except for today’s.

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You Can’t Spell “The Most Insane Hype Cycle In My Lifetime” without ‘AI’

There are already far more hot takes about AI than the world needs, but of course that’s not going to stop me from providing a take about AI. I will keep it short.

The best thing I’ve read about the current state of AI hype is this very funny screed by an Australian data scientist named Nik Suresh. If you care about this stuff, it’s worth a read.

But I keep thinking about this AI hype-related question: Who has the incentive to push the narrative that generative AI will change everything and everyone’s jobs are screwed? (but also don’t worry because AI tools’ output will be so much better [and more voluminous!] than anything you (marketers, in this case) can produce!)?

Even putting aside whether that will actually happen (instead of what’s happening now, which is a whole lot of tools producing content that even the laziest, worst, most nepo-baby drunk intern would not produce), why are we getting inundated with stories filled with AI hype?

Why was Klarna’s CMO telling the Wall Street Journal that it saved $1.5 million by having Dall-e and Midjourney create marketing images? And why did he say, “I don’t have a vision where we replace all humans. I do think that the best marketeers are going to 10X [multiply] their impact and efficiency because they have these tools. What I also foresee is humans really moving up the value chain. So the vast majority of the things that we’ve been cutting down on are things that are—unfortunately, I have to say—lower down the value chain.” Interesting that up the value chain (his job, for example) will be safe. And he’s one of the “best marketeers” who are 10x’ing their efficiency. Imagine that!

And why are other stories clearly being placed by the agencies that sell AI services?

Or placed by consultancies selling AI services. (A story in the NY Times today about how much revenue consulting firms are generating from AI consulting features the headline: The A.I. Boom Has an Unlikely Early Winner: Wonky Consultants. I’d suggest that isn’t unlikely at all.) 40% of McKinsey’s business this year will be AI-related. 40%.

Each time you read about some new marketing-related AI innovation, notice whether the story is really about one of these two things:

1) Showing how brilliant the CMO is who is talking about AI because they’re trying to save their job; or

2) How an agency or consulting firm is positioned as the brains behind the operation.

Since this is a newsletter about marketing, allow me to add that the campaign by consultancies, VCs and marketing agencies to make companies terrified they’ll be left behind without AI has been one of the most successful campaigns of the past 20 years. Bravo (?).

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Barks and Recreation

If you’ve read, um, any publication whatsoever in the past month or so, you may have seen a story about Bark Air, an airline for dogs. Or rather, an airline for dogs and their humans, since dogs do not understand the concept of money and therefore would not pay for the flights.

Bark Air is the brainpuppy (see what I did there) of the founder of Bark (nee Barkbox), a site that sells boxes of crap for your dog. The articles all make it clear that the airline for dogs is not a joke. And so does their website:

The founder of Bark has had an eye for brand extensions over the years. Back in 2013 they launched “The Bark Post,” which they described as “a dog-themed BuzzFeed” (that comparison probably made sense back in 2013, because I don’t think they mean “a dog-themed flaming pile of sadness”). They also launched a veterinary service called BarkCare around the same time.

And they told Fast Company that they wanted to launch a dog airline way back then. So they were thinking about extending this brand from the time of its launch. That’s clever, though its stock is down 93% from its high, so maybe it wasn’t clever enough to run a profitable business.

Anyway, I’m bringing this up because they’ve gotten amazing PR around this airline thing, even though it’s not exactly an airline (they appear to fly a chartered Gulfstream V once a week between Westchester Airport and Los Angeles for the price of $6000 per human/dog couple).

I’m also bringing it up because of the amount that this New Yorker piece on Bark Air made me want to vomit. It has all the things:

The fake founder anecdote: “…as part of his research, he crawled into a dog crate, at Naples Airport, in Florida, and flew in the cargo hold of a G-five to Long Island. ‘It’s an absolute horror show,’ he said.” No he didn’t.

The nonsensical comparison: “Bark Air is a lot like Delta or United, except that instead of an air marshal there’s an onboard veterinary technician who is trained in doggie CPR.” Which is like saying “Burger King is a lot like WeWork, except that instead of an insane founder burning through cash, it has minimum wage workers making hamburgers.”

The irrational expansion ideas: “To bring prices down, Meeker is in talks to purchase a Boeing 747 from an Israeli man who is moving some jets.” Somehow the mention of the Israeli feels anti-semitic, though I know it’s not (but also not not). Also, just so I’m clear, to bring prices down he will stop chartering a 10-seat private jet and instead purchase a 500 seat 747? From an Israeli? (Did I just spend far too much time looking at who owns all existing 747s and try to figure out whose aircraft this mysterious Israeli is selling? Yes, I did.)

The ‘just throwing numbers out there that make no sense’: The founder “dreams of retrofitting the interior with two dog runs and enough lie-flat beds for seventy-seven pups.” A 747 holds between 400 and 500 humans. Where did 77 dogs come from? And isn’t every seat a “lie-flat bed” if you’re a dog?

The disgusting and definitely-disgusting-for-$6000: The safety manual included this - “TIME TO GO POTTY? GOOD BOY! FEEL FREE TO RELIEVE YOURSELF WHEREVER YOU WANT. YES, LITERALLY WHEREVER. IT’S TOTALLY FINE.” I know that when I pay (?) $6,000 to fly to LA, I’d like to make sure it’s in a small space filled with dog shit.

Lessons?

1. Brand extensions are easier if you have a clear value prop (we’re the company that loves dogs as much as you do.)

2. Brand extensions are good marketing but can be terrible business.

3. Make sure you’re legally allowed to run an airline or you will get sued.

4. Even if you have a product that humans and/or animals are allowed to urinate on, maybe don’t mention it in the PR.

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As always, thanks for reading to the end. Want to talk about a marketing problem you’re struggling with? I like to talk about marketing problems. Feel free to set up a 25 minute chat (it’s free!). 100% guaranteed to be a good time (not a legal guarantee).

Happy 4th of July…