Can You Solve This Homepage Math Problem?
99% of 22.5% = 100% of confused prospects
Hello Gobbledeers,
How’s it going?
I write quite a bit here (weekly, in fact!) about the subtleties of marketing, and how small changes in the language that marketers use can make a big impact.
And that’s very important - being a precise marketer is super important!
But you know what’s actually even more important than that?
MAKING SURE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS ACTUALLY WORKS.
That’s something I learned over the past 2 months, as I just discovered that the email address I post here all the time - jared@sagelett.com - HAS NOT BEEN WORKING.
So, if you have emailed me at that address, and I didn’t respond, and you thought that I was just a jackass, well you’re not exactly incorrect, but in this specific case it’s because I neglected to set the email up correctly. Or I changed something by mistake, because the email used to work. Who knows? So please, reach back out. Especially if you wanted to pay me to do something for you. (And even if you didn’t.)
Anyway - today we’ll go a little shorter because it’s a long weekend coming up and I hope you don’t want to spend it reading about marketing stuff. Or maybe you do! I have no idea.
The Science of Shipping
If you’ve ever worked on a website update, you’ve probably had a meeting where you got a bunch of people from the company together to talk about what should be on the homepage. Here’s a transcript from that meeting:
You: Thanks everyone for getting together to talk about the new homepage.
Someone: I’m sorry, I’m having trouble with Zoom, can you repeat that?
You: Thanks everyone for getting tog-
Someone else: [Dog barking]
Melissa: Can everyone put themselves on mute?
Someone else: Gatsby, keep it down! Shh, mommy’s on a call. Go play with your ball.
Melissa: You’re still not muted. Can you put yourself on mute?
You: Thank you, Melissa. As I was say-
Melissa: You’re welcome.
You: Yes. Did you say something?
Melissa: I was just saying “you’re welcome.”
You: For what?
Someone else: Gatsby, get off the couch!
You: Thanks for getting together to talk about the homepage. I’d love to hear some ideas about how to best tell our story.
Disembodied voice: It’s incredibly important to have numbers on the homepage so people don’t think we’re just making stuff up like marketing always does.
You: Great point. We just make stuff up all the time. I’ll make sure we have lots of numbers on the homepage. Lots and lots.
Annnnnnd scene…
I was joking. But also not.
That was probably similar to a transcript from a conference call that shipping solutions something something ShipScience had about their homepage. Because how else could you explain these 2 homepage elements:
That has kept me up for several nights this week thinking about it - 99% of businesses are wasting 22.5% of their shipping spend. I have a couple of questions:
Does that mean that 99% of businesses waste exactly 22.5% of their shipping spend? At least 22.5%? If it’s “at least” then why didn’t they just say 22%? Or if you add up the total shipping spend of 99% of the businesses out there, 22.5% of that spend is wasted?
WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING WITH THE OTHER 1%????? Are they wasting 23%? 21%? They’re not wasting their parcel shipping spend - they’re somehow profiting off it? I need answers!
Then:
When someone is reading your homepage, they’re skimming it. It’s not an article about, oh I don’t know, Tom Brady saying he didn’t think participating in a roast would in some way affect his children, who have been dealing with the divorce of their parents, a topic that was very, very, very publicly joked about during the event. No, it’s not an article like that. It’s a website, and people skim them.
Add on top of that that most people barely have a concept of math. Or numbers in general. Not you (obviously!). But other people.
So while using numbers on a site can be effective - especially, as we’ve discussed, if you repeat one number (“one phone call can save you 15 minutes on your car insurance”) - but throwing lots of numbers around just becomes noise.
No one will bother to think about 99% of customers and 22.5% wasted and also 100% control and also slashing shipping costs “by over 25%.” It’s too many things.
Or worse, like me, they stop and think about the 22.5% wasted spend and also it will save you 25%, and how if only 22.5% is wasted, and they’re saving 25%, what’s the extra 2.5%?
We’re almost done…
I thought I’d just share 2 more amazing examples of brands being honest about how some people hate their product and what they’re going to do about it. (I’ve gotten more positive feedback about this marketing strategy than anything else I’ve written about, for whatever reason).
So to give credit where it’s due, Domino’s is the first example I can think of that used this strategy. Back maybe 15 years ago, Domino’s addressed the elephant-flavored pizza in the room: people thought their product tasted like garbage. They made a video and ran an ad campaign around people’s comments about their pizza (“the worst excuse for pizza I’ve ever had”) and then showed how they completely overhauled their product. For a mass brand, it was a bold step.
Reader Matt G. sent along a great 10-year old piece of work from the people who make Marmite, the widely reviled British yeast-based bread spread. It’s more like the Oatly example I keep discussing in that it’s a product that people either love or they hate. And the Marmite marketing folks decided to embrace the idea that some people hate it with this great advert (British!) that imagines a reality show where teams go and rescue jars of Marmite from homes where they’ve been neglected and get those jars new families who will love them. Tag line: Love It, Hate It, Just Don’t Forget It.
And finally, before you head off to the beach (or whatever), Glossier recently announced that they are bringing back the original formulation of their Balm Dotcalm lip balm, after they had changed how the product was produced to make it vegan. Apparently, customers were slightly less than thrilled with the new formulation.
So they shared that they were going back to the original product by releasing a video of employees reading Reddit comments from people who were none-too-happy about the changes they had made. Comments like, “bring back the original formula, you stupid f’ing pieces of shit.” Like that.
I guess what I’m saying is that authenticity and not treating your customers like they’re idiots go a long way.
Happy Memorial Day!
And a Little Something That Has Nothing to Do with Marketing…
Yes, this is a newsletter about marketing, but sometimes I like to share some music.
This might just be for Gobbledy reader Russ S., but I recently came across this clip of the late great Elliott Smith performing the song Clementine on a 1995 FX morning show called Breakfast Time. Breakfast Time was notable for being hosted by Tom Bergeron and a puppet.
For I-cannot-imagine what reason, they had Elliott Smith on the program, well before anyone knew who he was. There’s a lot of goofing around and they’re kinda lightheartedly making fun of him…and then he starts to play. And you can see the whole place change and just take it in. I’ve watched a lot of music performances online, and I’ve never seen someone win over a group of skeptics (and a puppet) like Smith did here.
NOW you can go have a great holiday weekend.
As always, thanks for reading to the end. This is my Calendly link. If you want to spend 25 minutes talking about marketing (or whatever), I’m available through that link. And I’m available at jared@sagelett.com if you want to talk about how our 2-day workshop will transform your messaging.
One call can save you 15% on your car insurance, not 15 minutes.
But it’s all just math. ;)
Gatsby!!!! my dog got a shout out!!!